{Thankful Tuesdays} November 7-13

November 7: My phone 
OK, this might feel like something superficial, but I am so thankful for my phone and the modern technology I have at my fingertips (quite literally!). I love being able to call someone who lives hours away and chat like we are sitting over coffee. I also love the convenience of texting and lets be honest...pinterest has an app now :). But I can do anything from using a flashlight, a calculator, read my Bible, read books, browse facebook, blogger, or instagram, and play suduko (I love that app too much!) And....pandora (see day 11).

November 8: My home
As new homeowners we are already catching ourselves taking this place for granted. But it wasn't long ago that prayed for a place like this to call ours. I love the space, the quiet, the privacy, the garage, the laundry room, and location. I am so thankful for this place and all the great things that will happen here.

November 9: My childhood
I am so thankful for the experiences I had and the ones that I did not have. I was loved and cared for by so many. I was sheltered and witnessed wisdom, selflessness, and faith. I am so thankful for my family and friends back home. I always get such a nostalgic feeling driving down those county roads.

November 10: My grandparents
I have the sweetest grandparents and I had the opportunity to be with them on this day for a few hours. My grandparents helped raise me and are always there. They really are some of the most dependable people I know. My grandpa is also the hardest worker I know and has always sacrificed his time to help.

November 11: Music 
Music has always been such a comfort for me. I have found that some of my most memorable moments of pure joy or healing have happened in my car listening to music. I drive a lot for work and listen to Pandora often. On this day I spent two hours in my car driving back home from a wonderful weekend with my mom. It is beautiful how God speaks truth into our lives through music. Music has also been a huge part of my husband and I's relationship (he stole me away on Valentines Day by taping a 5 track CD of songs about me on my car). I also think my husband is the best singer/songwriter out there.

November 12: Our veterans 
I am so thankful for the freedom we have in this country and the sacrifices that were made by the men and women serving our country. 

November 13: People who encourage
Have you ever spent time with a person that just constantly praises or encourages you? It is so refreshing and powerful. My last appointment of my day was really long (3 hours), but the compliments about me from my client's mother were so encouraging and uplifting. It feels wonderful to get compliments and to feel like you are making a difference and good at what you do.

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{Friday Letters} November 9th

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Dear Pinterest, Seriously...I would complete every pin if the cash were there. I've got some good things going in my head. Dear Mucinex, You know I can't figure out if we are friends or not. I got sick this week and went to my trusty NyQuil (that never really works, lets be honest) and decided I would make the switch to you. I am draining like crazy!!!! Thanks for making me feel better, but I sound awful and I'm pretty positive the hospital I was working at today wanted to hand me a face mask due to my coughing and nasally voice. Dear Starbucks, I went from not having you for 8 months to trying to go through your drive thru every chance I get. Your Salted Caramel Mocha is my fave. Thankfully I found a salted caramel mocha creamer tonight that might save my budget this winter. Dear Mom, I'm coming home to spend the weekend with you and I'm incredibly excited, even if we are doing yard work. Dear Husband, I know you heard me ask you to put your dishes in the dishwasher over the weekend and I believe in you :)

{Thankful Tuesdays} One Thousand Gifts:1

Chapter 1: An Emptier, fuller life

I feel that I should first explain why this book? why now?

2 weeks ago I spent a date evening with my husband at Barnes and Noble and happened to pick this book up. I read the first 3 chapters in the corner with my Starbucks Salted Carmel Mocha and tears down my face. My husband looked over at me and knew that we were buying the book.

Its funny how things seem to come from no where, but hit you right in the face.

Because I've been hurting. Since that tragic day in April that took my step-dad's life, I have struggled with anger, confusion, fear, anxiety, and plain hurt. Nothing seemed to make anything better and I honestly felt that nothing would be better unless he could just come back. The day prior to the accident, April 2nd, my mom and I chatted about how it was the anniversary of my dad's death many years ago. I told her I loved her, that I was proud of her, and that I was praying for her. Just that next morning, my other dad passed away in a split second.

Life is so fragile. It didn't make sense that my mom would be widowed twice. That the absence of my own father hurt enough, but that the only man that I knew as a father figure would be ripped away. And that my three step sisters would lose their dad in the same tragic way that they had lost their mom 8 years earlier. It didn't make sense....it still doesn't make sense. It didn't feel fair. It didn't feel possible.

And yet here we were 6 months later and I felt just as angry and confused as ever. I felt so far from my mom and the hurt of losing Brian was still present everyday. Honestly...I felt far from God.

I hadn't really read much to help me get through the grieving process. It was hard for me to feel all of the things I was feeling because I felt like I should "know better". You know, the things that everyone says to you to try and comfort you. Yes, those should be comforting, but they weren't. At first I thought my faith was failing, or that I was doing something wrong. I was mad that I was mad at God...does that make sense? Now I understand that I was just healing. I know that God is big enough and good enough to handle my anger and my emotions.

I'm still healing. I decided to review this book as a way to let it settle deep in my soul and reflect on the truths to living in thankfulness and joy. Today I'm just going to include some of my highlighted quotes from the first chapter.


Pg. 12
Where hides this joy of the Lord, this God who fills the earth with good things, and how do I fully live when life is full of hurt? How do I wake up to joy and grace and beauty and all that is the fullest life when I must stay numb to losses and crushed dreams and all that empties me out?

Pg. 15
Satan's sin becomes the first sin of all humanity: the sin of ingratitude. Adam and Eve are, simple, painfully, ungrateful for what God gave. Isn't that the catalyst of all my sins? Our fall was, has always been, and always will be, that we aren't satisfied in God and what He gives. We hunger for something more, something other.

Pg. 16
And still, we look at the fruit and see only the material means to fill our emptiness. We don't see the material world for what it is meant to be: as the means to communion with God.

Pg. 16
Losses do that. One life-loss can infect the whole of a life. Like a rash that wears through our days, our sight becomes peppered with black voids. Now everywhere we look, we only see all that isn't: holes, lack, deficiency.

Pg. 17
"His secret purpose framed from the very beginning [is] to bring us to our full glory" (1 Corinthians 2:7 NEB). He means to rename us- to return us to our true names, our truest selves. He means to heal out soul holes.

Pg. 21
There's a reason I am not writing the story and God is. He knows how it all works out, where it all leads, what it all means. I don't.

Pg. 22
For forty long years, God's people daily eat manna- a substance whose name literally means "What is it?"...they eat the mystery...and the mystery, that which made no sense, is "like wafers of honey" on the lips....I think of ...a world pocketed with pain, and all the mysteries I have refused, refused to let nourish me.

Pg. 22
That that which tears open our souls, those holes that splatter our sight, may actually become the thin, open places to see through the mess of this place to the heart-aching beauty beyond. To Him. To the God whom we endlessly crave.

{Thankful Tuesdays} November 1-6

November 1: Christ's love for me
Nothing can compare to the gratefulness I have for having Christ in my life. I am complete through Him. Through Him I find hope, grace, forgiveness, and wholeness.

found here

November 2: My husband, Seth
I am so thankful for these three years of marriage. He challenges me, stretches me, loves me, and encourages me. I am truly a better person with him in my life. I'm thankful that he fought for me in high school :)

November 3: My mom
I know no one more amazing than my mom. She is the strongest and kindest person I know. The heartache she has experienced in her life is something I would wish on no one. I pray everyday for my mom and for how thankful I am for her. She is so special to me and I honestly mean it to say I have the best mom in the world.

November 4: My church
I don't take for granted the opportunity to worship freely and to be in a church that I constantly feel stretched, loved, and challenged. I spent years looking for a church in college and then in our first two years of marriage and I am thankful each day for this community of people and the opportunity to be a part of a church that is changing things and seeking and saving the lost.

 

covenant church

November 5: My mental health
I work with mentally ill 5 days of the week. I am constantly reminded of the beauty of life and the power or our minds. I am so incredibly thankful for a sound mind and pray for protection over it.

found here

November 6: My country
Today is election day. I honestly do believe it is a historical election and I long for the best for this country. As tired as it can be seeing ads and "facebook rants" (as people like to call them) I am glad to see that people aren't apathetic. I am so thankful for the freedoms I have and freedom to vote. I really believe America is the best country in the world, but we have to protect and fight to keep it that way. I hope you vote today.

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{Friday Letters} November 2nd

Dear Blog, Hey there! Let me introduce myself, I'm Beth and I have tried blogging a few times, but thought it might be fun again. Hopefully you get more love than my previous blogs in college. Cheers to a fresh start! Dear Husband, I love that you are a musician and that I can spend my evenings by the fire listening to you write and perfect your songs. Thank you for those beautiful evenings. Dear Tina, even though you are my cat you are absolutely the fluffiest and cutest thing ever. Dear Sandy, not cool. I was not happy about the snow this week, but seriously the damage out east is awful. Praying for those whose lives are in chaos. Dear Friday, Thank you for just being you and for being awesome. Cheers to my first {friday letters}!

Welcome November!

In an attempt to blog more I am going to do what any logical person would do....just start some weekly series :)

Here are two that I want to try:

1. Friday's Letters
          I am going to try and link up with Ashley's series over at Adventures of Newlyweds. A cute, fun, recap of the week in the form of letters.

2. Thankful Tuesdays
          I need to do this for two reasons...First, I am reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp and I have started to jot down thoughts of thankfulness throughout the day as a part of a healing/grieving process. I want to have a place to share the things I am thankful for, recap what I am reading, and just spend this month in a constant place of thankfulness. Second, on facebook people are starting the 30 days of Thankfulness and I would rather just post them here in a little bit more honest and intimate setting.

I figure this would be a good starting place and I will be around more often in general with more updates, stories, pictures, and just plain fun :)

A few glimpses

I realize that my blog is missing something. Although this blog will go many directions, I initially started it as a blog to document the buying of our first house and the process of decorating it. I'm glad I blogged along the journey of buying the house, but I am struggling to document the furnishing aspect. 

I'm a perfectionist.

It is hard to let others see my house when I don't feel it is "ready yet".

I struggled with having family over early on, because it "wasn't ready yet". I needed to snap out of it. 

I have such high hopes for this place and I really love decorating. I really love finding  those perfect pieces, thrifting, painting and sewing and I believe with time I am going to be super proud of our home. But for now we still have all of our tools and random decor laying all over our formal dining room (no dining furniture yet), boxes and random crafts all over the floor of our loft, mismatching bedding the guest rooms, the walls are a flat white paint all over the house, and our master bedroom is as plain as ever. But I need to document it all.

I need to start somewhere.

So here are some sneak peeks of our house where we are right now. I'm excited with where we are and the potential this house has. It was beautiful house empty so it would be hard to mess it up :)